the future!

I am always thinking about the future. Planning and worrying and getting excited about things that don’t exist yet and neglecting the tasks I have at hand. I wish I wasn’t so future oriented. it probably has to do with the fact that I’m such an idealist & romantic. The future is full of possibility, the past is stagnant and done. And The Now is okay, except for the fact that half the time I’m thinking to myself “I should be designing right now,” which is sort of annoying. We went to see Of Montreal a few days ago which was fun but the whole time my design stuff was constantly nagging me.

I have an interview on Monday for a job I REALLY REALLY REALLY want. I’ve been worried about it since this past Monday. I worry because I want it so bad I’m afraid I’m setting myself up to be let down. I worry because I know one of the other candidates for the job, another girl in my design class. I wish I didn’t know who I was running against. I don’t know why it really matters, aside from it feeling a little awkward because I don’t think I’m very competetive naturally. I worry because I often freak out and become a bumbling idiot.

I am worried about my Sustainable Oceans communication programs. None of it is anywhere near where I want it to be. I’m glad Doug has faith in my idea, I just don’t know how to get it together. I’m pretty behind.

On the other hand I’m really into making my Spa symbols. This is probably my favorite of Karen’s classes that I’ve had so far. I think I like it because it’s all drawing and there’s no typography involved at all, which just makes it even more evident I should draw instead of design.

I feel like none of my other (non-design) friends worry about school stuff as much as me. Maybe they do but just don’t rant about it like I do. I dunno. I think it’s the fact that I feel like what I do in class has a direct connection to what I’ll do when I graduate. I need to have finished projects that can speak for me for at least a few years.

Also, because I’m a dork and like to look for new classes way in advance (registration is Feb. 21), I’ve gone through and found some options. 2 design classes are a given, but I get to pick at least one more… the ( )s are credits.

MUSIC 446/AES 446 Music in American Cultures (3)
DANCE 101 Introduction to Dance (5)
CLAS 430 Greek and Roman Mythology (3/5)
C LIT 330 The European Fairy Tale (5)
L ARCH 322 Introduction to Planting Design (3)

I would REALLY like to take the Music/American Ethnic Studies class, although at the 400 level I’m not too sure about it. The Landscape Architecture seems kinda silly, but maybe useful eventually. And I think Dance would just be really interesting. I’m not a real dancer by any means, but I think it’d be fun to dance for credit.

I really like that despite having 2 required classes a quarter I can still get all sorts of other random stuff. One of my goals in college is to take one class in as many different departments as possible. Art is a little different cause I have lots in this department, but they’ve all been very different.

Wow, that got long.. I should be designing.