Yay? My birthday was on Thursday but I was feeling out of it for most of the day. It’s complicated. But the family & I went out to Poppy in Cap hill for dinner which was pretty good though. My parents loved it and kept telling the waiter how good it was. So that part was nice.
Where is my mind?
That Pixies song keeps playing over and over in my head. I’m really not sure where I’m at lately, but it doesn’t feel like it’s here. The other day I went to use a gift certificate I got almost a year ago for a massage and once I got to my appt. I realized I had left it at home, so I run back and get it. Another day I wasn’t paying attention and thinking that I was logging into facebook but actually fell for a facebook phishing scam which ripple effected myspace and twitter. I drove to work earlier this week (I’m usually on the bus) and forgot that I drove in and bussed home. I didn’t realize until the next morning that I had left my car. And the other day I accidentally got on an express bus, which dropped me off about 12 blocks away from my house. And my cycle has been wonky and I’ve lost about 10 lbs in the past few weeks (I mostly attribute that to walking Jack several times a day but also being too stressed to eat much). And I feel like I’m losing interest in a lot of things. And there’s all the other stuff that has been going down.
I don’t know what’s going on. Maybe I’m not getting enough sleep. Maybe I breathed in too many paint fumes while painting the garage. Maybe watching too much Heroes during my time off turned my brain into mush. I just hope it clears up soon.
Experience
I was watching this lecture the other day. It was posted almost 2 years old, but I didn’t get around to it till recently. It’s Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture about lessons learned and achieving your goals. It’s a pretty amazing talk and totally made me cry at the end. It even made me want to go to CMU a little bit. The whole thing is good, but there was one quote he pulled up that stuck:
Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.
I keep thinking about that line lately. Although maybe it’s not just about not getting what you want but getting what you never could have imagined. I’m just trying to learn from everything.
Blarg
I don’t know why anyone else even reads this rambling. Sometimes I go back and forth on whether I should keep the blog more superficial and less personal. There is something both unnerving and comforting about sharing personal things with a few friends and complete strangers (which, according to site stats, is apparently a larger audience than I had imagined–who are you??). I’m just much less comfortable sharing personal things in person. Maybe it’s just because I’ve been writing for so long it’s what feels natural. I don’t know. Hopefully the next post can be less emo.